Fuck C**sorsh*p

To keep myself from completely stagnating out here in the ghettos of Pak Kret, I’ve begun systematically working my way through the selection of third rate DVDs from the rental place up the road. Tonight I’ve chosen Hostel II and, going on the strength of the first film’s diabolical content, its sequel promises to be the kind of blood-soaked gore-fest that would cause your parents to publicly disown you if they ever found out you’d watched it.

No such luck. It turns out that nudity, limb severance, decapitation and Unnecessarily Brutal Penis Removal are deemed too nasty for public viewing and are thus all blurred out with that irritating scrambled pixels effect that makes everything look like a Commodore 64 game. Throughout the film I find myself, a responsible adult, suffering the indignity of being protected by Thai broadcasting law. Sex, violence and even one occasion of drug-taking all fall foul of the censor. The feeling of dismay is overwhelming; my sole reason for renting this flick was because I knew, like many others before me, that it was going to be full of violent deaths. I’ve paid 40 baht to have my disbelief suspended, not to have it re-instated by some spotty twat with Photo Shop. The most curious thing about the whole sorry affair is that completed acts of violence are just fine; so a man being mauled by a pack of rottweilers is out, but shots of his mutilated vital organs are fair game.

Leaving aside the fact that (although Hostel II is a thoroughly enjoyable film with plenty of action and some nifty twists in the plot) my bloodlust remains unsated, the main issue here is that the frantic editing makes a mockery of the Thai ratings system. Why have both policies in place if it only serves to penalise the responsible members of society who want to kick back with a bucket of chicken and watch a pretty girl rip a guy’s cock off with a pair of rusty pliers?! If I want protecting from the evils of the world, I’ll rent F*nding fucking N*mo.


1 Response to “Fuck C**sorsh*p”

  1. 1 oldrope
    May 25, 2009 at 1:48 am

    Surely you get enough of that shit in your day to day life Peter…?

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